How To Do Laundry Like A Pro

The society we reside has certain stereotypes which linger from the more traditional days of American household expectations. One of the most pervasive stereotypes involves the household chores and gender roles. Men take out the trash. Women cook. Men fix things. Women vacuum. Men wear the pants. Women wash the pants.

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But obviously roles have changed. Men are just as capable of performing chores such as cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids, just as women are learning how to fix cars, repair their electronics, and open those dang on jars which seem to be screwed tight enough to cause strained muscles in the palm of one’s hand. But, as a recent college graduate and current co-inhabitant with another male, I was quick to discover the lack of education men receive in certain household tasks. One of the most fascinating situations to behold is a newly independent (or semi-independent as is the case in college) man attempting to wash their clothes. I can’t tell you how many times one of my guy friends asked me where to put the laundry detergent when, in his hands, there was actually bleach. So, here are some quick tips to the whole laundry process so that mom does not need to be on speed dial every time you are faced with the daunting task of what temperature water you should choose.

STEP 1:

Know when to wash your clothes. Certain clothes need to be washed more often than others. Now, I’m sure you’d like to push off how long you can wear something before it needs washing but, seriously, clean smelling clothes are phenomenal! Here are just some suggestions of the time frame in which one can wear certain articles of clothing:

  • Undershirts/Boxers/Socks: Technically these should only be worn once, then tossed in the dirty clothes hamper. The likelihood of that happening though is slim for most men. For heaven’s sake though, do not wear under garments more than 3 times though, it just gets dingy faster and smells…even if you do not notice. Remember, these articles of clothing are closes to your skin and are often covering the parts of your body which sweats the most and emits the most odor. So they really soak up that day of activity and become quickly unappealing.
  • T-shirts: Like undershirts, regular cotton t-shirts quickly soak up the moisture and odor of your body. I’d suggest wearing them only once but, if you give them the once-over and sniff test and they look fine, then go ahead and wear them again. Just, like above, limit it to 3 times before it needs to make its way to the hamper.
  • Jeans: Jeans are fantastic. Because they often aren’t form fitted to your body (unless you’re the skinny jean sort) they do not gather up as much of the body odor that other clothes do. Honestly, until they begin to smell or have stains, they really don’t need to be washed. I’d suggest washing them once a month, or whenever you want to fill up the extra space in the washer.
  • Casual Work Clothes: ie) khaki’s, button downs, and sweaters. These items do not hide sweat stains and dirt as well as t-shirts and jeans. Also, the point of these items are for situations where you want to present yourself as a put together young man. I’d suggest washing these items every 2-4 times you wear them. Smell the armpits, check for stains, look for dirt, if you notice anything, wash them. The only reason I do not say wash them after every use is because, most of the time, these items are worn for a few hours at work then taken off, not all day, so the length of time worn and the environment which they are worn at play a factor in when it’s time to wash.

STEP 2:

Gather all of your dirty clothes together. Pull aside special articles of clothing such as khaki’s, button down’s, sweaters, or non-cotton fabrics. Now, READ THE TAG. I can’t stress that enough. There may be certain items which are dry clean only or delicate or do not tumble dry. These are vital instructions because, if washed in the wrong way, they may fade, tear apart, or shrink to a size which only that annoying pet chihuahua your neighbor totes around can wear.

If it says dry clean only that means you should probably take it to your local dry cleaner once it’s dirty. Yes, there are ways to wash them yourself, but do you really want to take that chance at this stage of your launder experience? Delicate means that you cannot place the item in a high spin cycle and do not tumble dry means that you should not place it in the dryer, instead hang it up to dry.

STEP 3: 

Check your dirty clothes for stains. I’m talking about that gross yellow armpit stain, grass, mud, oil, blood, wine, etc… If you have a stain on your clothing, pre-treat it with something like Shout or Tide To Go Pens. Product’s like these are easy to use. Just scrub the liquid into the stain and let it sit for whatever the suggested time frame is on the back of the product.

STEP 4:

Sorting your dirty clothes. There are several ways to go about this.

  • The most common method is separating your clothes between whites, lights, and colored/darks. The reasoning behind this is if you mix whites with darks and then use the wrong water temperature, you’ll probably end up with some nice new pink dress shirts when you used to have white ones.
  • Me personally, since I am a female, my dirty clothes consist of more delicate items rather than whites. So I do things a bit differently when it comes to splitting them up. I separate my laundry piles into delicates and regular fabrics, mixing the colored with lighter colored clothing. I will discuss more about this split in the next step.
  • You can also choose to just split white’s and colors, eliminating the three pile system.

STEP 5:

Now it is time to press all the buttons. After loading the dryer with one of your piles, you have to decide what water temperature to use, what cycle to set it for, and, in some cases, what load size you require.

  • Water Temperature: Water temperature is the key to this whole ordeal. Here’s the little way to remember what temperature goes with which pile. Warm water goes with Whites and Cold water goes with Colors. See? WW and CC! Warm Whites and Cold Colors! Not too difficult. Honestly, I would go with any form of hot water. Hot water makes colors bleed and fade faster. It is good for disinfecting further and removing all of the bacteria but, it also deteriorates clothing, towels, bedding at a faster rate then warm water. Cold water makes sure that colors do not fade as fast, or bleed out to other clothing. Now, remember in the previous step how I mentioned that I mix colors and whites since I have very few white items? I do this by only using cold water during my washes. That way my colors do not bleed onto the white or light items I own. I’ve never had a problem with washing my clothes that way before and I’ve been doing laundry for years.
  • Washer Cycle: The most common setting is regular. It has the longest wash and spin cycle so it’ll clean your clothes more thoroughly. Just go for that cycle if you are not sure. If, like me, you make a separate pile for delicates such as button down shirts, sweaters, delicate fabrics, then obviously you’ll use the delicate cycle setting. This cycle has a low, softer spin/agitation cycle so that the fabrics are not twisted and whirled about enough to cause damage. I would avoid Permanent Press. It is sort of a mix between the regular cycle and delicate cycle. Just not worth trying to figure it out when you’re trying to go for simple.

STEP 6: 

Laundry detergent. There are several types of laundry detergent’s out there. I will briefly explain the pros and cons of each version.

  • Powder Laundry Detergent: Powdered detergents are definitely made for the budget conscious individual. They last longer and often come in larger quantities for cheaper prices. They are also sometimes considered better for getting out stains. But, with cheaper products, comes lower quality. In some cases, as I have experienced, powder detergent does not dissolve as easily in the washer, particularly if you set your clothes in a cold cycle. They are usually fine in warm water but, on occasion, they will not dissolve in cold water, leaving detergent stains on your clothing.
  • Liquid Laundry Detergent: Probably the more common detergent out there, this detergent is already pre-dissolved, which means you just pore and go. They are more expensive then the run-of-the-mill powdered counterpart though.
  • Pod Laundry Detergent: This ready to go packet is quick, easy, and pre-measured so you don’t have to worry about messing around with how much to put in. Just pop one or two in the laundry machine and the wrapping disintegrates, allowing the detergent to mix with your clothes. Although this is assuredly a convenient method, they are much more costly then the two listed above.

Honestly, my personal preference is liquid laundry detergent. Not too horribly priced and I don’t have to worry about the leftover residue that powdered detergent can leave behind (particularly since I wash all my clothes in cold water). And, over my four and a half years at college, I probably went through a grand total of one and a half larger containers of detergent (I was doing laundry every 2-3wks). So, for the price and the cleaning power, I’d suggest liquid.

Usually the products will have instructions on the back for how much detergent to use. I’d say, cut that measurement in half. You really do not need to use that much. If you have a top opening washer, just run the water and pour the detergent in, then load in your clothes. If you have a front opening washer (as some college dorms and laundromats may have), there is usually a little drawer that you pull out where you’d pour the detergent. If it doesn’t explicitly say in which whole of the little drawer to pour the detergent, just dump it in the largest one…the others are for things such as bleach and softener.

SIDE NOTES FOR WASHING

  • Unless you really know how to use it, or have a friend who does, I’d suggest avoiding bleach. To be honest, I have never used bleach in my life. If I have a stain on a white colored item, I just use stain removal rather than bleach.
  • Do not overload the washer. It may be tempting but your clothes will not be cleaned if you choose to fill your washer to the brim. The clothes need space to mix and spin, that way they can be evenly coated with water and detergent.
  • Do not toss all your clothes in at once. If you bunch clothes together there is a strong chance that some of them will not be washed. You need to separate all the clothes in order to make sure there is an even cleaning among everything.
  • Do not use too much detergent. Trust me. Bad idea. Pouring several cups of detergent will create a suds monster that will terrify little children and maintenance men alike (actually, children might enjoy it, so just the janitorial squad would be scared).
  • Do not let your clothes sit for hours in the washer. If you’ve ever experienced mildew and mold in the bathroom because the vents did not let the steam escape then you’ll understand this problem. Leaving your clothes damp and mashed together in the washer establishes a breeding ground of smelly mildew which ultimately means you’ll have to repeat the wash process…something I’m sure you’re not interested in doing.
  • Any t-shirt with a print or design should be turned inside to prevent cracking or peeling…same goes with jersey’s that have the numbers ironed on

USING THE DRYER

Using the dryer is not as complicated as the washer so let’s go over the quick rules of drying.

  • Again, check the tags on your clothes. Some will say that you can ‘tumble dry’ others will say ‘lay flat’ or ‘line dry’. If something does not say tumble dry then, seriously, do not place it in the dryer. This can destroy the item very quickly.
  • Do not overload the dryer. Much like a washer, clothes placed in the dryer need to have room to spin in order to dry.
  • Clean out the lint screen. It’s not too common but overly filled lint screens can cause fires. Also, it helps your clothes dry faster and better if there is a clean lint screen.
  • Use softener sheets. These make your clothes softer (obviously) and less stiff.
  • I’d suggest using the regular setting for almost all dryers. If something needs a special type of drying temperature then I usually just line dry it or hang it on my drying rack.
  • Be wary of public laundromat dryers (and sometimes washers), they are more often low quality dryers and can become very hot or not hot enough to dry your clothes. It’s obnoxious but be prepared to due multiple drying’s.

Well, there you have it. The guide to doing your own laundry. This will not only help you out when you’re finally faced with the task on your own, it will also be a nice way to do something for your girlfriend or significant other when the time comes. BUT, and I say this with my hands clapped together, do not do her laundry if you are unsure of the care of a particular item. The fact that you are doing something nice for her will sort of fall flat if you turn her favorite top into a dress made for a Barbie doll.

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12 Chivalrous Gestures Every Man Should Know

With the recent decades pushing for the feminist movement, how to treat a woman has become blurred and confusing for men. I feel bad for your dilemma. You are caught in the cross hairs between treating your lady like an equal and placing her on a pedestal. Now, I can’t say my opinion goes for every female, I can only speak for myself and the women I’ve spoken to about this, but I believe most of us still desire a chivalrous attitude from our men with the understanding that we are also capable of the same intellectual and professional capacity that men are. In the career world, we expect to be treated as equals,  in the household many of us expect to be equal, but when it comes to the little things, we do hope for those small chivalrous actions to remind us that we are women and you are a gentleman who cares about how we feel. Here are the does and don’ts when it comes to chivalrous behavior.

#1

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DO

Help us put on our jackets. When you’re preparing to go out for a nice evening out, grab the coat you know she’ll wear and hold it behind her so she can easily slip her arms into it. Pull it over her shoulders and wrap it around her.

DON’T

Do not button the jacket for her, nor should you be the one to pull her hair out from under the jacket. You want to aid her, not baby her. Also, although some women may want it (although I have never met a lady with this expectation), I wouldn’t advise helping her take her jacket off. That just seems a little overly “helpful”.

#2

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DO

When out at a restaurant the idea of ordering for your date can be dicey. But, if you’re at a unique place where you might be the only one familiar with the menu style, AND you know your date well enough, go ahead and pick something out for her. But forewarn your lady that you’re doing so with a kind “babe, let me choose something for you”. Allow her to make the choice whether you order for her or not, don’t just assume you know best. Also, when it comes to dessert time, most of us will shake our heads no when the waiter asks if we’d like to see the dessert menu. Order something for the two of you to share that you know she’ll like. That little nod to her sweet tooth will be a nice touch.

DON’T

Do not order for her if it’s a restaurant which she understands the menu. You do not want to come across as someone who believes they’re superior to her and know what is best for her. She is generally perfectly capable of picking out what works for her on her own.

#3

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DO

Help her carry things. Particularly if it looks like she’s struggling. Also, if it’s just a couple of books or a bag of leftovers from dinner out, offer to carry it for her. It shows that you care and want to help out. If you’re not carrying anything and she is (besides her purse, that’s something she’ll always be carrying around) then you should offer to help her. Make a suggestion in the way of “Can I take that for you?” or “Let me take that?” rather than outright stating “Give that to me” or “That’s too heavy for you.” We know that sometimes, some of us are not physically able to lift something, we don’t need reminding of that fact by a demand to relinquish our ability to carry things.

DON’T

Do not assume she is not strong enough to carry something. Do not tell her that she doesn’t need to help with something because you think she won’t be able to physically capable of helping. There is almost always a way we can help. We don’t like feeling like we’re not allowed to do something just because we are not a guy. Trust me, I’m a smaller woman, but I can lift a lot more than many would expect. So when my significant other and I were moving I would have been offended if he suggested I just put things away rather than help moving boxes and furniture.

#4

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DO

Stand in respect when your woman approaches the table or is ready to leave. When out for dinner it shows a level of respect when you stand for anyone, it should be automatic to do it for your significant other. Always sit after she does. And for particularly special nights out, to add some flair to your gentlemanly ways, don’t just wait for her to be seated, help her with her chair. The proper way of doing this is to draw the chair out just enough for her to slide between the chair and the table, then as she’s bending to sit, slide the chair enough under her so her behind makes contact with the middle of the seat. This eliminates the scooting she has to do and is a very traditional chivalrous move.

DON’T

You do not have to do the whole standing up and waiting for her to sit when it’s just a casual dinner at home. Now if it’s a dinner at home with others, then perform the standing ritual, but when it’s a weekday night and you’re just making a quick spaghetti meal, the standing and chair aiding is unnecessary. Also, you shouldn’t stand up as she is getting up and returning from the restroom. That’s drawing attention towards your table that she is taking care of business, an unnecessary amount of attention which she is not looking for.

#5

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DO

This should be chivalry 101 but just as a little reminder…do hold doors for a woman. Yes, she can swing open a door on her very own, I’m pretty sure that’s something she’s been able to do since kindergarten. Opening a door has nothing to do with the sense that she is delicate and the “weaker” sex. What it does signify is that you respect and honor her by allowing her to enter first while you enter in behind her. Similar to the standing at the table when she’s approaching or leaving, opening the door means you’re thinking about her before you think about yourself. One thing though that some men do not do is open the car door for their lady. Particularly when going on a date, especially a special date, you should open the door for your partner as a sign of your caring and thoughtful nature. 

DON’T

Ok, so door holding is a common practice that every man should know. That does not mean that you have to race 25ft in front of your lady in order to grab the door. If she makes it there first then just grab it from behind so she can let go (although I make sure that I occasionally open the door for my man, no reason why a woman can not return the favor every once in awhile). Don’t make a big deal about opening the door, it should basically be second nature, not something special which should be performed with a flourish of attention. Also, with the car door, that’s not expected on a daily basis. On special date nights it is appreciated and applauded, going out to the grocery store, it’s not necessary.

#6

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DO

Introductions are important. Anyone, male or female, would feel a bit nervous meeting their significant other’s friends and particularly their family. Always make sure you introduce her to the people in your life before beginning to chat about whatever you want with your family and friends. And always make sure she is by your side, not behind you or still shuffling in or putting her stuff down. By having her by your side when you introduce her to others that’s saying that she is an important part of your life, not just a person to be quickly passed off. Also, it’s always wise to prepare your woman for who is going to be there—names, relations, and any side facts that are important to who they will be meeting.

DON’T

Ok, obvious, don’t wait to introduce her when your with family and friends. I can’t tell you how awkward it feels to be left standing slightly behind your partner as they are chatting with their friends or family, not knowing anyone’s name. It makes her feel like she’s forgotten and easily ignored, not special enough to be a part of your life. Avoid awkwardness and discomfort at every cost or it could cost you later on. First impressions are vital, if she is not comfortable around the people in your life then things will only become more uncomfortable later down the road.

#7

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DO

Walk her home. Walking your date, girlfriend, or any woman is a fantastic chivalrous gesture. We all know the reasons behind that. Although sexual assaults are not as common between strangers, it can happen. But we’re not just concerned about sexual assaults, many obnoxious men will cat call, annoy, or even make unwanted passes at women who walk alone. Yes, this is not considered an actual assault, but it is very uncomfortable to women. Usually when a man is with a woman the unwanted attention is eliminated. It’s sad that what it takes to avoid that discomfort is to have another guy walk with us but it’s the way life is. This does not mean that a woman can’t defend herself. God knows, if a guy decided to come after me he’d be very sorry, but the likelihood that a guy will actually attack me is slim whereas the likelihood of a guy yelling out the window of his car “hey baby, let me take you home and show you some real fun!” (yes, I have had that said to me before) is all too common. So walk her home. Show that you care that she makes it safely to her front door both physically and mentally.

DON’T

Do not fulfill the age old stereotype that, by walking her home, that means you’re actually looking to walk her all the way to her bedroom. That’s annoying. Walk her home out of respect and thoughtfulness. Don’t walk her home in order to get some action. If she invites you in, or you have an understanding already, then by all means do your dirty deeds and have a sexy night. But if she doesn’t, give her a kiss at the door and head the other way. Leaves a bit of wanting and mystery in her mind, that’s a good thing 😉

#8

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DO

Holding an umbrella is a more unusual gesture which can be simultaneously practical as well as getting you two closer, both physically and emotionally. Draw her close and and hold the umbrella over both of you, make sure to cover her a bit more though. Not because she’s delicate, more because it’ll save you the pain of having to wait for her to redo her hair if it gets wet.

DON’T

Don’t follow her like a personal servant. The key to this working is that you wrap your arm around her. That way you’re showing yourself as a confident gentleman and not as a clingy puppy dog that she can walk all over.

#9

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DO

Offer her your jacket. Possibly one of the cutest acts of chivalry possible. When she starts to shiver, begins rubbing her arms, or mentions how chilly it is outside, don’t ask, just take it off and (as stated in the 1st DO) help her into it. Reveals to her that her comfort is important to you. Now, if you’re also cold, that doesn’t mean that you should freeze just to give your partner your jacket. Instead, just draw her in and keep her warm…body heat is yummy.

DON’T

Don’t make a huge deal about giving up your jacket. If she’s wearing inappropriate clothing for the season it’s probably because she wanted to dress in an attractive manner for you. Don’t ignore the fact that she’s cold if you can tell she is. Trust me, we are not as nice and happy when we are cold. I’ll also give you a tidbit of information, many of us will complain about being cold, even if we’re not actually cold, that’s because we want you to warm us up 😉

#10

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DO

Here’s an age old issue that men might actually hope women would take over just a little bit more. Paying. Here’s the deal, unless she’s an ultra-feminist, complete equality driven woman, there is that expectation that the guy will pay for at least the first couple of dates. Now, in this day and age, the woman should pay every once in awhile. I definitely think she should offer to pay, particularly on the first and maybe second date. And I believe that it is acceptable that, during the first ‘date’ together, the one where you’re getting to know one another, it’s ok to allow her to pay for her portion since you’re still not sure whether there will be a second one (although you’re more than welcome to insist on paying if you so choose). Once you’re going steady it should be between a 70/30 to an 80/20 split in most situations with the man paying for the larger portion of dates. Keep in mind, that may seem unfair, but in retrospect most women will buy more food to make meals for you, buy cutesy gifts more often, and crafts to make you things. Again, with this one, I can’t speak for the majority, but I feel as if this is more stereotypical that the women will do more things and spend more money on daily aspects of the relationship so, in the end, it is nice for the man to pay for more of the nights out.

DON’T

Don’t EXPECT her to pay for the meals. Most women have grown up with learning about the tradition that men pay, so the expectation of her paying may come as a surprise to her. There’ll be a time and place and a right way to suggest her paying every once in awhile but don’t just flat out expect it. On top of that, as mentioned in the DO section, you should pay for the majority of dates. Consistently making her pay makes it feel like she’s not being treated when going out and that she has to be the provider. It shows that you’re not financially competent which means that the relationship will be based solely off of her income…no good.

#11

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DO

When walking, make sure you walk on the outside. What I mean by that is walk on the side closes to the traffic. This shows that her safety is important and you’re a protective lover. Offer your hand or arm for her to hold as you walk. Not only does it feel comfortable and safe physically touching, it also shows to all passerby’s that you’re together which is something women enjoy.

DON’T

When walking, don’t walk ahead of her unless there’s truly a good reason. It’s disrespectful and feels emotionally closed off. Also, be aware of your surroundings. Make sure that she’s walking in a safe place. And, as a side note, please please PLEASE, for the love of god almighty, recognize that if she is wearing heels, there are just some places which she will not be able to walk. Trust me, my man and I have definitely had to have this talk after a pretty horrible bout of cobblestones and stilettos. If you really don’t have a choice of the path you’re taking, make sure you help her, offer your arm, walk slower, and, if absolutely necessary, pick her up (if you can). Trust me, walking on gravel is practically impossible in heels unless one is aiming on spraining an ankle.

#12

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DO

This is a DO for only a few lucky men. DO ask her father for her hand in marriage. This is sadly a tradition which is slowly fading in the 21st century. Marriage is now considered between the couple but in the good ‘ol days, marriage was the bringing together of two families. Asking your girlfriend’s father for permission shows that you respect that he has been her protector since she was born and that you are making sure it is acceptable for you to begin taking over that role as her husband. It also shows respect to your girlfriend that you would be honorable enough to make sure her family is comfortable with the decision. It’s an important part before making that leap into holy matrimony.

DON’T

Obviously, do not ask her father for permission if your girlfriend has no relationship with him, they’re estranged, or he was a bad father. You can always consider asking her mother or guardian who raised her. Essentially the only person you should ask ‘permission’ from is someone who your girlfriend was raised by and had a strong relationship with. Also, make sure you prepare yourself. Just flat out asking the father if you can marry her is not good enough, he wants to hear why you want to take that step and how you’ll assume the role as first protector.

Remember, to women, the smallest gestures make the largest impact. The key is pretty much to always ask. Let her decide whether she wants you to be the gentleman or if she wants to be the equal. Make it her choice, then the complicated decision between being the age-old man and being offensive is out of your hands! Chivalry may have had to evolve over the years but it doesn’t mean that it has to completely disappear. Good luck gentlemen.

Her Sexual Fantasies

We all have sexual fantasies. Don’t let women fool you, there are things we definitely dream about. Why do you think “50 Shades of Gray” was so popular? Or why are her bookshelves lined with books titled “Her Every Pleasure” and “To Wed the Warrior”? It’s because we fantasize…and probably even more then men do. So let’s go over the top female fantasies to date. Now keep in mind, not every female will have the same fantasies so before you whip out the kink, test her willingness to try something new. Worse come to worse, it doesn’t work out and you both end up laughing about the silliness of the attempt.

~ 10 ~

Lesbian Encounter

Unlike men, most women can look at another woman and find her attractive. We may even look at her body and find it attractive. So, many of us fantasize about having a sexual encounter with a woman. To feel the soft body of another woman, the caress and slow build. So many of us will dream about being with a woman, even experiment a bit. No harm done and in the end many women find that either it’s not for them or they are actually bi.

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~ 9 ~

Sex in a Tub

I.E. sex in a jacuzzi and large bathtub. Romantic and hot, both due to the passion and because of the hot water. It’s no small fact that women enjoy long showers and/or baths. Yes, it can be a bit messy, water may spill onto the floor. But who cares? It’s a fantasy. There are ways to make any fantasy work!

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~ 8 ~

Sex with an Ex

Sorry guys, sometimes we fantasize about sex with an ex. Maybe it was a volatile break up, maybe they were your first, but sometimes women will dream about having sex with their past beau’s. That by no means establishes that she will cheat. But I’m sure many men will sometimes recall a hot night with a past partner, women will do so as well. Many of the fantasies include their ex crawling back, begging and apologizing for ending the relationship, and then showing her the best night of her life. But, again, that does not mean she’ll act on that fantasy. She’s with you, there’s a reason for that, and I assume one of them is because of the sexual relationship.

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~ 7 ~

Sex on the Beach (or any scenic place)

Not the drink this time. Legitimately sex on the beach. The danger and thrill of being caught. The romantic setting of the water and outdoors. The whole concept of the beach drives home romance, so why wouldn’t she want sex on the beach? There are technical aspects which must be considered. Obviously, need to make sure you find that secret spot where you can still receive the thrill of being in public without actually really being “in public”. Also, towels…lots and lots of towels!

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~ 6 ~

Exhibitionism

The idea that someone, somewhere is watching…that turns many women on. That they are appreciating and finding her body sexy, of course she’s going to find that hot. Now, it’s still creepy if a guy is peeking in, but still somewhat of turn on for many women. Of course the fantasy creeper is tall, dark, handsome and not a psychotic stalker…so exhibitionism is often left as a fantasy. Oh, and it’s illegal in the majority of the world so, again, it stays a fantasy.

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~ 5 ~

Teacher/Student

That is right gentlemen, we dream of the sexy school fantasy as well. Both roles. More common, we enjoy being the student. Wearing the tight button down shirt and mini plaid skirt. Strutting around, “tempting” the teacher. Being spanked for our bad behavior and then being taken hard by our knowledgeable teacher. We also enjoy being the teacher/librarian as well. Teaching a very bad boy how to be the perfect student.

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~ 4 ~

Stripping

No matter how self conscious we may be about our bodies, we all dream about being a sexy, erotic, and enigmatic “stripper” (for lack of a better term). We want to feel sexy, want to move our bodies, sway our hips to some hot music, and slowly remove our clothes while you’re watching. Most importantly, we want to watch you start to get hard and horny while watching us perform for you.

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~ 3 ~

The Threesome

This is a fantasy shared by both men and women, but a little different. Men rarely would consider having a threesome with one girl, two men. But women fantasize about both. Many women wander what it would be like to have another woman in bed with their man. But it’s incredibly rare that you’ll be able to convince her to give in to that fantasy. Women, as you probably notice, can be very insecure. The idea of their man having sex with another woman may terrify them. So be careful approaching that fantasy, she may think you’re become bored with her and what another woman. Women also dream about having two men at the same time. Just think about it. Why would a man want two women? Because he wants attention all on him, to have two individuals stroking, playing, touching, kissing, etc his body. You don’t think women want that with two men? Attention to her body doubled? Of course we do!

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~ 2 ~

Dominating You

Yes, many women actually dream about being the dominate one in bed every once in awhile. We love our big strong men but, sometimes, when the mood strikes, we want to be on top, pinning your arms down, choosing the pace, speeding up to get you really close, then slowing down. Outside of the bedroom you know how frustrating women can be, we enjoy making you crazy. So why do you think that mentality would be any different in bed? So, on occasion, we want to be in control, to decide when the time is right to make you orgasm, and when to slow down so you practically beg for release.

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~ 1 ~

Dominating Her

Completely opposite of the previous one, but sort of obvious, women enjoy when a man dominates her (hence 50 Shades of Grey being so popular cough cough). Some call this the “rape fantasy”. I don’t approve of that term though. That denotes a sort of unwilling and unwanted control over your partner. Obviously if she is having a sexual relationship with you, she’s willing (unless she really is being forced…then get off my blog, I don’t like bad people). Anyways, domination of your lady is hot, passionate, forceful, yet wanted. She wants you to pin her down on the bed, thrusting her thighs apart with your body, sinking your teeth into her delicate skin, gripping the nape of her neck and hair to passionately kiss her. We want you to embrace your testosterone gentlemen, don’t be afraid to get a little rough…most of us are begging to be your bad little girl.

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Lingerie for Dummies

Lingerie is a wonderful item that I believe every women should own. You’d be surprised what pieces a woman has hidden within her closet which she has yet to pull out for you. Lingerie is empowering, makes a woman feel instantly sexier and stronger. But it can confuse a man. What on earth is a teddy? How does she put that on? How on earth do I get this thing off of her?! So here’s your little guide on what types of lingerie there are and how to purchase an item without insulting or misjudging your lady.

So, let’s review the terminology concerning lingerie styles:

Camisole

The camisole is generally a set, a spaghetti strap tip with fairly short shorts. The camisole top will usually reach right at the waist and women can often wear this piece under a shirt, sweater or jacket for added layering.

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Chemise/Slip

This item is usually a short dress with an empire waist (meaning that the dress is tightest right under the breasts). They are considered light, fun, and flirty. This is probably one of the most comfortable pieces of lingerie, one in which she can also sleep in easily without feeling like she’s going to strangle herself. It can come in a wide variety, thousands of different types of fabrics, patterns, and designs and usually reaches mid to upper thigh.

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Baby Doll

Probably one of the most popular forms of lingerie, this is the innocent flirting with naughty look. The baby doll chemise is a really short nightgown, usually skirting the top of the thigh and just barely showing the lady’s behind. Like a regular chemise, the baby doll has an empire waist but the fabric that trails down from the breasts is usually see-through and floats away from the rest of the body. This fits a woman best if she is rounder or larger, that way it is covering her midsection. But if your woman is self conscious yet thin, don’t go for an overly flowy baby doll chemise, that will make her feel even larger.

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Teddy

Teddy lingerie essentially looks like a bathing suit. If you’ve never seen your lady wear something like this or speak of a piece of lingerie such as a teddy then I would not advise choosing a teddy for her on your first go. It is a unique item which is not that common. It can be a bit complicated to have fun with it on. You can push the bottom part to the side but, if you don’t like that idea, then she has to take it completely off which sort of makes the lingerie pointless. It can be very attractive though, depending on your woman’s body type.

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Bustier/Corset

The bustier and corset are fairly similar. Both are form fitting tops, often laced or fastened at the back. The corset is often a bit longer, hitting the tops of the hips, whereas a bustier hits the waist. This piece of lingerie works to create a more emphasized hourglass figure. Good for a fully figured woman, it will cinch in her waist and push up her ample upper endownments.

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Garter

A garter belt is essentially a lacy belt with straps which attach to thigh high tights. These can be extraordinarily sexy and extraordinarily tedious. Back in the day, women wore these because thigh high tights were common, but they were not made to be attractive. Now the belts are made of fabrics which are not always the most comfortable. But they can be worn for those fun moments you want to add a little spice to the bedroom. Fantastic for tall and slim women…can you say legs for days?!

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Moving along….how should you go about purchasing an item for your special lady? Good question my friend. Here’s the deal, Victoria’s Secret is the epitome of female lingerie. Yes, I’d assume it’s intimidating to walk in there, in which case I apologize if you feel uncomfortable entering the hallowed pink halls of VS. But don’t be. Us women shopping in there know what you’re doing. Just like we know what one another are doing when we lift up a scanty piece of bedroom lingerie. We, at least most of us, think’s it’s cute to see a guy walk in. We know you’re anxious and unsure of what’s going on, so most of us would be willing to help if you just asked. Yes, of course there’ll be the few in there who’ll watch you like a vulture, just ignore them. What you’re doing is awesome. You’re willing to walk through a store tailored to women in order to do something nice for your lady!

My greatest advice for any lingerie/ladies store you visit is to ask a sales associate for help. You can wander through all you want but an employee can help point you to the things which are more common and popular…ie the safer route. Also, come prepared.

Here are the most important measurements you need to know when it comes to a woman’s clothing:

  • Number size: there are two types of sizing for a woman. The number size is the first one to know. Look through her clothes, particularly her shirts. Most women’s clothing goes in increments of 2 starting at 00-20+. The average American woman is a size 12 but do not think your woman is average! For example, I am a size 4, if my boyfriend came home with a size 12 chemise I would be mildly offended. The shirts are the most important size to look at (rather than pants) because most lingerie items are more fitted around the top but definitely note what the pants sizes are if you’re planning on getting something that is more fitted.
  • General size: extra small, small, medium, large, extra large, 2x, etc. It’s good to have a general idea of what size your lady is. At the very least you should know this size because then whoever you ask can help you find an appropriate size for her. For example, if you know your lady generally wears a small, then she’s probably a size 2, 4, or 6. Narrows down the sizes drastically! So definitely take note of her general size.
  • Bra Size: Very important, particularly if you’re getting a piece of lingerie that is fitted on top or has a built in bra. Trust me, you need to know this. Now it may look complicated but it really isn’t. Steal a peek at your lady’s bra, on the tag should be a number and a letter. The number references the length of bra, and the circumfrence of her rib cage where her bra will wrap around. The letter references her cup size (yes, we have cups too, they just hold our breasts rather than any anatomy parts further below). The average bra size in America is anywhere from a 36B to a 38C. Getting a misfitting bra can not only lead to discomfort but sheer frustration. And unlike clothing where you can sort of guess if it’ll fit her or not, you will not be able to guess whether a bra will fit your lady just by looking at it. And going up to a sales associate and saying, “well she has pretty big boobs” will not help whatsoever.

Just remember, the wrong size can offend her very easily. And because the infamous “sex talk” probably did not include a how-to guide to women’s lingerie sizing, you’re already at a loss before you even begin. Buying a item that is too small might make her feel a little flattered since you thought she was smaller than she actually is BUT it could also make her feel self conscious about her body. Trying on something and finding it too small makes her notice her critical areas where she feels uncomfortable and sensitive about her weight and body. Buying her something that is too large is the exact opposite. She may be mildly offended that you thought she was larger then her actual size but, when she tries it on, she’ll feel better knowing at least she gets to go down a size (something almost any woman wants). So be careful!

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: ASK FOR A GIFT RECEIPT!

Valentine’s Day Guide

As we all know, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. I must admit, this is my first Valentine’s Day where I’m actually in a full-blown relationship. I’ve never been one for long-term relationships but for some crazy reason, my beau has captured my attention. Sadly for him, he has expectations to live up to. Valentine’s day, even for the un-sappy individuals, has a lot of aspects which men fear. It’s a day devoted to romance. But think of it this way. Think of Valentine’s day as a challenge gentlemen. Almost like a game which you need to win. Figure out a game plan which shows that you care enough about your lady to make her feel particularly special while avoiding the cheesiness of Valentine’s day pre-made programming. So let’s down to the details of Hallmark’s most infamous holiday.

Valentine’s day is one of the few holidays of the year which, in an unstated sort of way, is explicitly up to the guy to plan. Yeah, it’s about being a couple and love and romance but it’s truly about how well the man can make his lady feel loved. To a woman, Valentine’s day is similar to Christmas morning for children. Think of it as a day in which you’re saying thank you to your partner for all that she does for you. It is pretty obvious that women often are more up front about their love for the man in their life, they will make cute little things for their partner, cook dinner, write little love notes, etc but men often do not do these types of things to show their love. So Valentine’s day is truly a day devoted to showering your special lady in love so she can continue to shower you with adoration year round.

Some simple ways to add some special love to her day:

1. Wake up early, make her coffee, sneak some whipped cream in there. It is important to wake up early gentlemen, if she goes to work and has to hear other women speak of what their man has done for them and she hasn’t received any love…she will already be put out.

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2. Hide a little love note in her car where she’ll see it when she gets in. Or hide it in her purse, briefcase, pockets, etc.

3. If she works in an office where this would be acceptable, send her flowers while she is at work. Women adore flowers. Women adore feeling loved. But, on top of this all, women adore presents which shows that they are loved in front of other people so everyone else can see she is loved as well. That’s what we do. We talk. And we don’t want to feel ignored on Valentine’s day in front of other people who know us.

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4. Reenact your first date or the first time you met. My beau and I met literally on the beach. Although it is a bit nippy out, the perfect idea would be to visit where we first met and just spend some alone time together.

5. Get a couples massage or give her a massage. Mmmmm, get her all relaxed and comfortable, she’ll be very pliable later on to say thank you if you get what I mean 😉

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6. Not only should you get her flowers, a romantic touch would be to strewn rose petals around, or make a path of rose petals to the bedroom. There should also be candles. Just watch a movie or two with some romantic action…you’ll definitely see this idea in those movies.

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7. Get a room! Literally. If you guys have been together for awhile, sex may be getting a tad dull. Switching up the environment often stimulates and excites sensuality again. So book a small bed and breakfast room for a night or two, have your fun.

8. Go out dancing. Slow dancing. Club dancing. Any type of dancing. Dancing is a very sensual act, close contact and movement. Remember, to get fully into the action, women need to work up to arousal. Dancing is a fantastic way to feel close and get her into the mood for later that night.

9. Take a shower or bath together. Showers can also be incredibly sensual, without having sex in them. Just take some of your woman’s favorite body wash and slowly rub your hands across her body. She will feel sexy and beautiful at the same time (yes, they are different, trust me).

10. Take her out to lunch rather than dinner. Find a  spot with a pretty view (unless it’s too cold, then opt for indoors), grab some gournmet sandwiches, chocolate covered strawberries and other food items and enjoy a mid-day break with your lady. Valentine’s day dinners are a bit overrated, but lunches are special and a fun way to be together even if it’s a work day.

11. Ice Skating…nothing feels more couple-y then doing a fun active activity, hot chocolate, hand holding, and having to warm her up later after an icy date. And trust me, it’s cute when you fall and we have to help you up. A bruised bum isn’t too bad to see a smile on her face is it?

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12. Gifts. Yes, there are presents involved. But rather than something fun and random, this gift needs to be special. No it does not have to be a $500 diamond necklace. What is more important is the thought behind the gift. I.E. is it something that will mean something to her. Most importantly, for once, don’t think of practical things she’d need. If she said in the past that she needs a new knife set or more socks, now is not the time to get those items. Get her something she can cherish and hold on to for the future. Jewelry is obviously one of the first thoughts to cross one’s mind. Not because it’s expensive but because she can wear it forever and always be reminded of how much you love her.

13. Last and most importantly, at some point towards the end of the evening, tell her why you love her. The culmination of Valentine’s day should always work towards you explaining why she is the most valuable part of your life. The gifts, the flowers, the dates, they’re all gestures. But actually explaining how much you love her is the pivotal point of this Hallmark holiday.

Yes, Valentine’s day is sappy and a stress-filled time for men. But just look at it as a time to be the romantic gentleman you know you have in you and show your lady that you really do want her in your life. Keep it fun, light, easy, and sensual. And have fun with it. No stress needed.

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The Power of Flowers

Plain and Simple. Let’s talk flowers boys. It’s almost Valentine’s Day so here’s a little help. Girls like delicate things. Girls like pretty things. Girls like feeling special. What does that spell? Flowers. It is rare to find a woman who does not like the occasional surprise gift of flowers. But many guys don’t seem to get that. So this post we’ll discuss which flowers mean what, when to give them, and why. Just trying to make an easy to use guide all about that crazy concept of floral gifts.

FIRST STEP:

Learn a little bit about your lady. Ask these questions to help you choose the perfect blooms for your special woman.

What is her favorite color? If you don’t know yet, look at her accessories (ie her purse, shoes, jewelry, notebooks, etc). If there is a common color theme to those extra items then bingo, that’s generally her favorite color. Also, find out what her favorite shirt or jacket (if she has a variety of jackets) is. Generally her favorite top will also be in her favorite color. That will help you pick a color scheme to find some floral arrangements.

What is her personality like? Is she outgoing or shy? Is she romantic and delicate? Is she traditional or imaginative? Funny, quirky, serious? Her personality can match a specific flower type!

How old is she? Age generally equates to experience and knowledge. If she is older, she will know flowers. She will understand what is pretty cheap, and what is really a special arrangement. Not that cheap is bad, but if you’re going to attempt to impress your lady, and she is an older cultured woman, buying a cheap Walmart bunch for a special occasion might not impress as much as you’d hope.

WHEN TO GET HER FLOWERS:

Flowers are NOT for the first date. Adding pressure of a gift on the first date makes you seem one of a couple of things: A) you’re desperate   B) you’re too good to be true   C) you’re expecting more later on then we’re willing to give

Flowers are not the go to option for post-fight apology. A true apology is the right way to handle that. Then maybe some flowers. But do not think that flowers can substitute for a sincere apology.

Flowers are great for those standard “Hallmark” holidays. Honestly, at least in my mind, I’m not expecting a huge present for Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, etc. Real gifts are reserved for birthdays and Christmas if you celebrate it. But to show your love and appreciation on other holidays, particularly a holiday in which your significant other is cooking for, a nice bouquet of flowers is a wonderful idea. Then she can put the flowers on the dinner table and be able to brag about how awesome and thoughtful her man. Instant ego boost gentlemen.

Be spontaneous! Flowers are also a great gift to get your lady just to make her feel amazing. Seriously guys, surprise her with one flower or a bouquet of flowers and you’re set! The surprise of a sweet gift like that shows that you care. If she’s been having a particularly rough week, is feeling low, or just stressed beyond belief, a little gift of flowers will make her day. And honestly, flowers are cheap. You don’t have to go for those $50 handmade arrangements from 1-800-flowers. Just check out your local grocery store or Walmart, they have a decent variety for under $10.

WHAT TYPE OF FLOWERS TO GET:

Now to look at the flowers themselves. There are quite a large variety of them. So which ones should you choose? Here’s a little list of some basic flowers, their meanings, and other random tibdits to help you make your decision:

Roses:

Roses are classic, of course. Standard and easy, but nevertheless appreciated. Wait till you know the woman well to give her roses. A single rose is a nice touch if you’re enjoying her company but a bouquet of roses should be reserved for later on. Red roses means I love you, White means I like you, but nothing more, and Pink roses is somewhere in between. Roses can be likened to a love poem that you copy and paste off of the internet. Yes, you tried, and that’s appreciated, but it’s not something particularly unique or special to stand out in her mind. That is unless roses are her favorite flower, then rose away my friend, you’re one lucky ducky having such an easy flower to present your lady.

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Carnations:

Carnations are a great and, more importantly, an inexpensive way to treat your lady. If it’s just a little surprise gift you want to give her, carnations are a good way to go. They come in a variety of colors, practically every color in the spectrum to be specific, are delicate yet durable, and are one of the most recognized flowers around the world. They denote fascination and adoration.

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Gerber Daisies:

These particularly large blooms are known as a flower of innocence, cheerfulness, and youthfulness. My personal favorites, these are similar to carnations but are larger and somewhat resemble colorful sunflowers. They are sure to lift any woman’s spirits in seconds!

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Orchids:

Orchids are extremely unique and long lasting flowers. They’re generally sold as planted flowers rather than cut flowers (meaning they’ll continue growing as long as they’re watered rather than just eventually dying) but can be purchased as a cut flower. They are not the cheapest flower out there but their exotic look immediately shows your lady that she is special to you. I would suggest this type of flower to be presented to your special other on holidays or to congratulate her on an accomplishment she just attained. Not really a random, “show your appreciation” gift or a birthday gift.

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Stargazer Lilies:

Stargazer lilies are a newer flower which are bold, beautiful and dramatic. Usually ranging from pure white to deep pink, these flowers stand out for both their large bloom as well as their sweet scent. They make a statement. Usually not sold alone, they pair well within a larger bouquet but they can stand alone as a gorgeous way to say anything from happy birthday to congratulations to happy holidays.

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Sunflowers:

Sunflowers are a vibrant flower, often considered the “happiest” of flowers. A really cool fact about sunflowers, if you’ve ever seen a field of them in the morning and then returned in the afternoon you’ll notice that the blooms have changed directions. That is because sunflowers move so that their blooms always face the sun…hence the name “sunflower”. These flowers are bold, yet comfortable, they have a simplistic beauty to them which will cheer any woman instantaneously. They are fantastic for a surprise gift, a get well soon, and a congratulatory moment.

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Tulips:

Tulips are common, understated, and comfortable ways of showing your love and/or appreciation. They are not too big, not too small, not too elegant, not too romantic, not too bright, not too simple…they are always standard intermediary flowers which are pretty and easy. They are delightful and a great compliment to larger bouquets or by themselves. Honestly, they are great to give in almost any situation. They usually come in closed blooms and then slowly open up to a beautiful variety of colors and shades.

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Peonies:

The lush blooms of the peonies are sure to bring a smile to your lady’s face. They are large, voluminous flowers that denote honor and magnificence. A great flower to mix in bouquets or just keep with other peonies, these flowers can fit practically any occasion and range from varying shades of white, cream, pink to red.

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Mixed Flower Bouquets:

Probably one of the best ways to go, these type of bouquets are sure to have at least one flower that your lady particularly loves. Many flowers look beautiful standing alone but look even more gorgeous when paired with other blooms. One of my particular favorite bouquet styles is called a wildflower bouquet. They are simple, generally smaller flowers, and often cheaper than a rose bouquet, but offer a unique variety and simplicity that many traditional bouquets cannot touch.

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Chances are, she’ll notice if you put some real effort into it. And if she is happy, I’m pretty sure she’ll make you one happy man in return. Best of luck gentlemen!

~A

The ‘ol “Pretty v. Beautiful” Conundrum Explained

I’m sure you’ve heard of this epic battle between calling a girl pretty versus calling her beautiful. What about hot versus beautiful or cute versus beautiful? What does that all mean? “A compliment is a compliment, it doesn’t matter what it is.” WRONG. It is definitely sweet of you to think to compliment your girl but, you have to realize, that all of these words are in fact not the same. I know, shocking. But I think that’s the point. Why do you think there are many different words for positively reinforcing someone’s appearance? If you look up each of these words they have different definitions. So, first off, let’s go over the technical definitions of each of these words. Then we’ll get into the nitty-gritty of when to use them.

Prettyadjective: attractive to look at in a simple way; pleasant to look at or listen to; appearing or sounding pleasant or nice but lacking strength, force, purpose, or intensity

Cuteadjective: having a pleasing and usually youthful appearance; attractive or pretty especially in a childish or youthful way

Hotadjective: sexually excited or receptive; sexually attractive; of intense or immediate interest

Beautifuladjective: having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight; possessing qualities that give great pleasure or satisfaction to see, hear, think about; delighting the senses or mind

**Definitions taken from Merriam-Webster Dictionary**

Now, after reading the definitions on those terms, can you see the difference?There are definitely distinct attributes to each word which makes them more appropriate then others. Now, don’t get me wrong, by no means does this mean that you should eliminate some words and only use other ones. God no, do not do that!

*Side Note* Here’s a little tip about girls and compliments. We like them. Even if we say we don’t. But, what we don’t like are generic or repetitive compliments which have been said one too many times and/or could be said to any girl.

Ok, so let’s start to get into the meat and potatoes of this post. Which word to use and when. Yes, every word has certain situations which they are appropriate. It’s not too difficult, although it may seem to be. But in order to make your lady feel good about herself, the right word used in a compliment will make her feel like she’s on top of the world!

When to use the word “pretty”

Pretty is a fairly generic word. A common, non-compliment, use is: “Well, that’s pretty cool” or “I’m pretty much there”. It’s a half word. Like almost, or close, or “yeah, that’s nice”. It doesn’t emphasize anything, nor does it really add a punch into a compliment. The best time to use this word is when you’re referring to a particular item she has on. I.E. “That dress is really pretty on you”, “That’s a really pretty way you did you hair”, “You’re looking really pretty in that skirt”. It’s just a nice and quick way to let her know that you noticed what she is wearing. In the morning when she is getting ready for work, if you just throw in that she looks pretty in that outfit, she’ll feel automatically more confident about the day ahead of her. The key though is that you have to be specific. Men have a way of just saying “That’s pretty”. It is most often interpreted as he didn’t even look at me, rather than oh, he really thinks I look nice today! The statement is so generic and bland, it means hardly anything to most women. So, when using the word “pretty”, just make sure that you’re referring to something specific, or else she’ll think you didn’t even look at her.

When to use the word “cute”

Every female wants to feel like they’re cute. It means we’re young, silly, and fun to be around. But you have to be careful. Because calling a girl “cute” in the wrong situation can be belittling, make her feel immature and childish in a bad way. No one wants to do that. If you’re going to tell her she’s acting like a child then you at least want to make sure you’re doing it intentionally, not because you paid a compliment in the wrong way. So, here’s the deal with the word “cute”. When she’s cuddling up against you on the couch wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, you can tell her “you’re really cute”. If she’s dressed up in a tight black dress, ready to go out to the bar with you, do not tell her “that’s really cute”. No. She doesn’t want to feel like a kid stealing her older sisters high heels. When she’s goofing around, jumping on you, playing on a playground, or otherwise being playful with you–that’s the time to tell her that you find her cute. She’s in non-serious mode, she’s not thinking about being a mature adult. But if she’s in the adult world, if she’s acting her age (assuming she’s 21+), if she’s asking your opinion on a new clothing item she just purchased, if she’s nervous about how she looks, etc etc, do not call her cute. That comes off as belittling since the term “cute” implies youth. And for the love of god or whatever you believe in DO NOT CALL HER CUTE IF SHE IS WEARING LINGERIE!!! That will kill her mood faster than it takes you to devour a sandwich after not eating all day. Trust me, she will not feel attractive nor in the mood for sex if you call her “cute” when she is wearing lingerie in front of you.

When to call her “hot”

This one is pretty straightforward. When she is getting dressed up in that slinky tight black dress, strapping on those high heeled shoes, and heading out for a night out on the town with you, you can call her hot. When she is standing in front of you wearing a skimpy bra and garter belt, you should call her hot. When you two are rolling around in bed, in the midst of steamy, passionate, sex, you are expected to call her hot. Any time she is actually attempting to attract you, generally in a sexual way, she wants to be thought of as the most “smokin’ piece of a$$” in the world. It is your job to verbally (and physically) let her know she is the hottest woman you’ve ever seen. Even if she isn’t Gisele Bundchen or Mila Kunis, if you’re with her she’s obviously the most important person in your life. And she is physically attractive to you. Even though that should be common sense, a female needs to be reassured that you find her the most attractive woman in the room, even after years of being together. Now, this does not pertain to if the room is a family-restaurant with you parents across the table from you (unless you want to get her horny and whisper how much you want her hot a$$ in bed, advised to do with extreme caution). But at a bar, club, or evening lounge, she wants to feel sexually powerful and attractive to you, that she doesn’t have to worry that you’re attracted to other females while out, particularly since every other girl in that joint is generally dressed in similar slinky outfits.

When to use the word “beautiful”

Now, we’ve all heard that a girl should look for a man who calls her beautiful rather than pretty. But, as seen above, there are certain circumstances in which words other than beautiful can be applied. The word beautiful can and most often is the most powerful word you can use to make your lady feel attractive. It should be used sparingly and with deep intent, not as a common, every day, compliment that you just throw out while you’re watching tv and she’s coming in from work. First off, if you are going to call your lady beautiful, do it when you’re fully paying attention to her. Look her in the eyes so she knows that you mean it. Your lady can be called beautiful in a superficial way by strangers. A guy at a bar may call her beautiful just to flatter her and then, you know, try to make “the moves” on her. But if you, her boyfriend, lover, husband, whatever, looks her in the eyes and tells her she’s beautiful, she will notice. It won’t be a superficial compliment payed her in order to achieve a goal, it’d be a compliment which truly shows her that she is what you want. You have to remember, physical appearance is very important to a woman. We spend so much time cultivating and maintaining an attractive exterior to feel confident about ourselves. By calling us beautiful in the right way you are saying our physical appearance, as well as our personality, is a package deal which you find irresistible. Call her beautiful when she is feeling her ugliest. Call her beautiful at random moments when she least expects it. Call her beautiful to let her know that she is what you want. She may feel that you’re right for her, but she needs the occasional affirmation that you still think she’s right for you.

So there you have it. Compliment your lady. Make her feel special, unique, desirable, and confident. But make sure you do it in the right way. Pretty is for specifics, it’s generic, and quick. Cute is for when she’s being goofy, not when she’s serious or acting her age. Hot is when she’s attempting to sexually attract you. And beautiful is for those moments when you want her to feel like she’s everything to you, she’s your love and/or she’s the one for you.